Friday, January 13, 2006

Nashville Highlights

It's Hustler Hollywood! The talk of the town since it's grand opening last July. This chain of "friendly" smut stores is owned by the Grand Poobah of Boobies himself, Larry Flint. What fun it must have been for him to land his latest store on Church Street!
The whole premise behind these stores is to offer "discriminating consumers a bright, refreshing alternative to the seedy adult bookstore", and while it's bright alright, it's not all that different, and it is still geared specifically toward men. Why is it that women can't be "discriminating consumers" as well? The front part of the store is a bunch of novelty crap and the usual assortment of lubes and lewd toys, such as the one that looks like a man with his pants down, and when you stick your pencil in his butt, he moans. There's also a rowdy bunch of rude tee shirts, some of which are kinda funny, but who besides the Spring Break Beach set is going to walk around in these things? And then there's the coffee bar...WTF? What's that for, so your wife can have a latte while you browse the XXX titles? Speaking of which, it's the same old thing---all the movies and naughty toys are partitioned off in the back. Now, I'm not afraid to browse either one of these, unless I peer in and there's nothing but the same lurky dudes back there. My question is this: if you're trying for a kinder, friendlier atmosphere that allows sex movies, novelties and toys to be playful and fun rather than spooky and seedy, then why section off the store like that? Leave it all open. That way, the men don't have to feel like they're lurking in the back, and women can actually browse the viddies and toys without feeling like they don't belong there. My verdict: lame. For everyone's wholesome, fun sex movies/toys pleasure, I recommend GOOD VIBRATIONS, who has been doing it the right way for decades. They're friendly to all---boys, girls, gay, straight, whatever.

On to some shopping...

Katy K's 'Ranch Dressing' on 12th Street is totally boss. You looking for a real Western Shirt? With a real cowboy necktie? And a pair of vintage boots? This is where you go. She's got the real deal.
Except for just one thing...
I browsed around, looking for a western shirt that was a bit more casual than my Scully, something authentic, but didn't make me look like I should be holding a guitar. I found a nice one, soft, with pale green and light brown stripes that was exactly what I wanted...until I saw the tag that said "Made in China". I liked that shirt fine, but I'll be damned if I'm going to drive all the way to Nashville from Austin to buy a western shirt made in fucking China. What a drag that was. If you go there, stick to the real stuff.

We got a little lost, driving around, and ended up at a great big car graveyard:

and looking at it reminded me of a Beck lyric:

Give the finger to the rock and roll singer
As he's dancing upon your paycheck
The sales climb high through the garbage pail sky
Like a giant dildo crushing the sun

And speaking of giant dildoes...look at this visual horror:

ARRRGH! Run for your lives! The city is being eaten by a giant blue demon!
Is that not the fugliest building you've ever seen? That there's the Bell South building, and a mere photo cannot show how rediculous it looks looming over downtown Nashville. Besides, the corporate metaphor is sooo difficult to resist...must....resist....

To soothe your aching eyes, here's detail from a proper building, the beeeyoootiful Frist Center for the Visual Arts. All Deco, absolutely stunning.

We caught an awe-inspiring Murano glass exhibit there, and the combination of building and show made me feel like a kid full o' wide-eyed wonder. Also on was a multi-media exhibit by Deborah Aschheim called 'Neural Architecture No. 6', a metastatic network of clear plastic 'neurons' hanging from all corners of the museum. Each pod had either a camera, a two-way radio, or a monitor, so that you could catch snippets of the conversations of others in another room or see yourself being 'watched'. It's a multilayered work exploring the world of secret surveillance. Check it out.

And finally: the Parthenon by moonlight. It's closed at night, but walking around it in the dark is a must do.


Blogger Mascorrolandia said...

Please, Jeezus, don't tell me you skipped the Country Music Hall of Fame?

12:56 PM  
Blogger Water into Wino said...

You should have posted a pic of the lurky dudes in the back of the Hustler store. Makes me think that would be an entertaining photo blog.

5:57 PM  
Blogger taj said...

There's nothing that lurky dudes love more than being photograped while thumbing through porn. Smile, Lurky McBusted!

10:23 AM  

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