Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year's F*ck-All

Thank the Christ Child, I'm emerging from my Fuct Up Holiday Funk. I woke up this morning, and some of the heretofore sticky wickets that threatened to delay or complicate my Cork and Demon Wine Tour, March, 2006 suddenly seem to have several possible answers. I feel like cleaning the whole house, top to bottom, and while that probably won't happen, at least I'll get the living room done.

Ah, the obligatory New Year's Rezzies. I never make them, because I know that I'm going to pick some silly shit like 'Get back to yoga twice a week' and 'stop smoking pot forever'. And why do that to yourself? Some people remedy the situation by making less specific goals like 'get more exercise', but come on---go to the gym once a month and they've fulfilled that one. I am already predisposed to debilitating guilt, so I try not to set myself up for it. The only way to go with resolutions, I've decided, is to resolve to do what you already know you're gonna do. So screw resolutions. Here are my 2006 promises:

1) I promise to take baths instead of showers at least 85% of the time.

2) I promise to buy the best Beck seats I can, just as soon as the little shit finally makes his little way down to Austin.

3) I promise to keep up with all of my favorite HBO shows faithfully.

4) I promise to occassionally eat toast.

5) I vow not to become a vegetarian.

6) I swear to drink only tasty wine.

7) I commit to reading Princess Sparkle Pony every day.

8) I pledge to spend hours with Stumble Upon, at night in bed, until I pass out.

9) I promise to fart whenever necessary.

10) I resolve to drive my car through no less than six states, and while on that trip, I will write every single day. I will publish blog entries for the Cork and Demon for each winery I visit, and for this Cocktails blog every day to chronicle my trip. I will strive to make these entries interesting enough to actually read.

There, now. I have set myself up for success, and I feel terrific.


Blogger Morris said...

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Blogger Princess Sparkle Pony said...

That's really nice. It's hard to come up with something every day right now, though, so please make some news, OK?

3:53 AM  
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